Medicine

The irony of the first line

Is that it is delivered

In a song that gets stuck

In my head.

The best line that you

Have ever written,

And it was written

Once we were dead.

Isn't that the way that it always goes?

I always wanted feelings

To spill out of you

Like a rainbow

Projects from a cloud,

But, instead, they spilled

Like a sickness,

That leaves a stain

On the ground,

The thing that I know

About feelings like that

Is that they may leave

2 different marks,

But the distance between

Passionate love

And passionate hate

Is just not that far,

And that medicine is stronger than any prose.

The Tunnel

I've lived in a place
Where it storms all the time,
I moved in, fully aware

That the skies would be dark,
And the thunder would clap,
And I always knew to prepare

A raincoat and boots,
An umbrella and clothes
To change into if the rain was too much,

The expectation of sun,
Or a day to just play
Didn't cross my mind even once.

As dark and as sad
As a place like that sounds,
I've found it much harder to be

In a place where there sun
Is expected to come
But always just out of reach.

The Trek

Every step up
Forces air from your lungs,
It's too hard to talk,
So, you cry.

Why would you leave
Such a well-known green
For whatever is on
The far side?


Your heels dig in,
The dirt gets thick,
Can you lift your leg
From the floor?

A life that you know
For one that you don't,
Less time when you could
Have had more.


The enemy you've seen
From all sides of the screen,
The comfort in knowing
The pain,

The way that he strikes,
The flow of the fights,
The start and the end
Of the game.

You survive every time,
But if survival is life,
You really should rethink
The trek,

Two years, almost three,
But if you look, you'll see me
In a love that was worth
Every step.

Snowflake

His shoulders fall forward,

His nose scrunches up,

He grabs at the neck of his shirt,

To adjust side-to-side,

It's a tick that he'd hide

If he knew that I knew of this quirk.

You can hate someone deeply,

A fire can rage when you think

Of what they have done,

But a single snowflake

Will land on the flame

With a look at who he once was.

Broken

It boils from below,

Like a simmering pot,

It burns, and it stings,

Inconsistently hot,

Warm and then scorching,

But always too much

To take when our lives

Will never not touch,

A friend turned to whispers,

Disappeared like a song,

A word that is said

But is instantly gone,

That is who I am,

To him, I'm a dream,

One he forgot

While still sound asleep,

It's not that his heart

Simply healed and let go,

But sadly, I think,

His heart never broke,

It never held mine,

I just held his alone,

And that is a pain

I will never not know.

Spooky

Mesmerizing, wild eyes,

A mouth that moves faster than a brain,

A pair of glasses--to be removed--

When it’s getting a little too late.

Sometimes, a look can be enough

To prove that we are still awake,

But at what point do we let go

And just let the illusion break?

Karma

She sits on her shelf, and

She listens.

Right next to the elf, and

The trinkets,

She keeps to herself, but

She’s sinking

In, she can tell what

You’re thinking.

She gives and she takes

With a smile,

She builds and she breaks

With her eyes,

Before you can take

Back the vile

Things that you say,

You’ve been tried.

Peace

Her head hits the branch,

She looks to the sky,

The wind whistles through

The leaves,

The sun creates ribbons

Of translucent gold

Through just enough dust

To see,

She looks to the side

To see the grass shimmer,

She’s never seen something

So green,

She listens with ears

Tuned to the sounds

That match her own heart as

It beats.

She may never find

Perfection in life,

But she’d never say she didn’t

Find peace.

The Pace

Most things will move

At a pace that they like,

If you push them too much,

They will fall off their track,

If you don’t give enough,

They will stop in their place,

And if you’re still for too long,

They will start to fall back.

His Eyes

There are fluttery kicks I have come to expect

When I feel the daggers he shoots from his eyes,

So sharp, I think “piercing” is the word that I use,

Since I’ve yet to find one to better describe

How difficult it is to meet such a gaze,

How, when I do, I lose all of my mind

To shivers and quakes and the rumbling roar

Of falcons that fly right out from my spine.

Home

We talk, and we laugh, I almost fall asleep,

Held by the hands that I had put to my own

To compare finger lengths, just one night before

I learned that a stranger could feel like a home.

The Outside

I stared at the ceiling tiles with a racing heart,

In the spaced out, white squares, I could make out his eyes.

They were sharp and over-shadowed by a prominent ridge,

They pierced through the room I had been stuck inside,

It’s been many years since I've lived above ground,

In darkness, you forget how the sun feels on your skin,

But when he told me my smile went just to one side,

And he liked it that way, I felt warm again.

The Call

You talk behind my back,

I live behind yours.

I see beyond the window,

You’re busy slamming doors,

You would say that we’re different,

I wouldn’t say at all,

Because I’m too busy living

To even make the call.

Grown-up

I just don’t know so much,

It seems that every day

I learn how much I do not know

In the most embarrassing ways.

I say the things I thought I knew,

But then, find out I’m wrong,

I sing the lyrics slightly off

When I thought I knew the song.

I thought that I would grow-up

Some day and know a lot,

Turns out being a grown-up

Is learning that you do not.

Night Out

Faces, painted with smiles,

Girls are sad

That their friends are late.

Boys are constantly

Scanning the crowd

For who will be

Their next date.

Faces, shiny with sweat,

Girls are dancing

In circles with friends,

Boys are scared

To look silly as

They wait for the

Night to end.

Faces, wet with tears

From conversations

That got too real,

Boys are waiting

Out the girls

Expressing

What they feel.

Faces, sticky with

A hint of vodka,

Will they get home safe?

I can’t speak for

Them, but I will,

‘Cause I never

Left my place.

The Choice

When I am alone on the floor,

Sitting cross-legged like a kid,

I remember the days before

We went and did what we did.

When the song echos throughout

The house, and I hear your voice

laughing and dancing about,

I sit and I question my choice.

When I am alone in the room,

On the bed I jokingly claimed,

I lay and I wonder if you

Are laying and thinking the same.

The More You Know

The more you know,

The less you know,

If you don’t think

That’s true,

Try knowing something

You didn’t know,

But you always thought

You knew.

Kinds of Words

He stares at the ceiling

And describes something smooth,

A tint that he likes,

A shade that will cue

A reaction—he describes—

As calling for his touch,

I look at his face

When his cheeks start to blush,

A flush washes over,

I can tell that he’s thought

About this, about her,

About them, and I’m not

Mad, I’m just sad

That I’ve never heard

Him talk about me

Using these kinds of words.

The Seedling

Once it drops,

You must clean it,

Even then,

The floor leaves it

Soft to the touch,

You can feel it,

Squishy, and bleeding,

And peeling.

Then,

Once it rots,

You can't eat it,

You take the seed,

and you feed it,

Soil, and water,

And repeat,

Until it is

What you needed,

But,

What if it is

a bad seedling?

What if the temp

Drops to freezing?

What if you grow

Something new, instead,

That's better than what

You are leaving?

Arguments

I see

A closed, white door,

A flickering candle

Creating shadows

With its light.

I hear

A waking vent,

Or, is it a step

Up the stairs

In the night?

I feel

Fear enter my toes

And swim through my blood

Until my whole body

Is tense.

I am

Not scared to sleep,

but scared to wake

Tomorrow, and do it

Again.